Amazing - Finishing up the First Half in Guyana

"Man does not live by bread alone, but...", peanut butter and jelly on some cheese-filled crackers seems a balanced meal.

The pictures for this week are here.  

I am in a little hurry this week; see below for excuses.

Suicide, still Major Problem here
I have been involved with the Mental health issues of the country for some time now.   One of these issues is the problem of preventing suicides.   Of course, there has been the usual blaming by both political parties of the other and the blaming of both of them by various NGO's, etc...   Anyone who knows me, knows that I have opinions; however, here I am a guest in the country.  More and more I have gotten frustrated with the interventions highlighted by almost everyone.  It is a tragic loss of life, yes.   And if we knew someone was going to kill themselves immediately, we would put on our superhero outfit and spring to action - and no doubt save the Day and the Person.  Life doesn't work like that very often or else everyone would have a medal by now.    So Guyanese are urged to be on the lookout for hero opportunities .....   I wrote the following letter to the local papers and it got published in a couple.

You, Me and Suicide Prevention

"Choosing to kill one’s self can happen to anyone: young or old, poor or rich, educated or illiterate, doctors and dock workers, Indian-Black-Amerindian, male or female   It can happen in a flash or over a long time.   The Guyanese statistics show that death from suicide shows no favourites; they also give some clues as to who are more likely to kill themselves.     

It seems to me that while there are clues, there is really no good way to predict who will actually kill themselves.   If one listens to survivors, friends and family of the deceased, a major theme is one of surprise, “I never thought they would kill themselves.”  So what is the average person supposed to do?  Talk to everyone?  Care about everyone?  My too-easy answer would be, “Yes.”

There are many persons who are depressed, live in abusive relationships, have the love of their life dump them, live a lonely existence, have had a long season in their lives where nothing is going right, experience an unwanted pregnancy, lose all one’s savings by gambling… and they do not go on to kill themselves or even attempt to kill themselves.

If we knew they were likely to kill themselves, we would connect, communicate and care.  The difficulty is that we don’t know  ..... as not everyone who says they may kill themselves goes on to do it.   We need to start the story of suicide prevention when it really hasn’t even begun.

So can we care about “everyone”?  No; there are not too many Mother Teresas around and even she stayed in one city.   I might suggest:  everyone we see, everyone we come in contact with daily or weekly.

It is no good waiting for those who are sad or depressed to reach out to us; it is one more burden that is just too much for them.   It is a continuation of blaming the victim: “ they are responsible for not reaching out and connecting and communicating and caring”.  No; it is up to us who feel pretty good most days to reach out to the others we see having a more difficult day, week or month than we.

Even this would not necessarily work because we are not that good at observing others.  Those contemplating suicide hide well behind “fake smiles” or just plain hiding.    So we might want to act “as if” everyone we encounter might be suicidal.  But where is the glamour or prestige in saving someone’s life that way  We would all love to be a hero, but those star situations don’t come by often.   Our world needs a lot more just “nice” people who have a friendly word or a thoughtful deed for someone else.   Everyone needs these connecting gestures, whether we are suicidal or not…  And maybe if more of us did those communicating actions more often, then those who might have let sadness and loneliness and disappointment lead to suicidal thoughts would never get that far down the path to self-destruction.

I once knew a wise woman who did pretty good raising her children.  She would constantly say, “Be kind; be kind.  And you will be a saint.”  As I remember it was probably while there was a fight of some description going on.   Life is way too complicated to have any one slogan cover everything, but kindness is a good place to start -- I agree with M. Jane Cahill. "

So most comments which I have received are:  "I saw your letter in the paper." That is all.  Though I have received a few more detailed notes, like, "I read your letter. I think it was to the point and hope people got the message."   So much for my Pulitzer .....  And, like figuring out who is going to kill themselves, one never knows where and how one's words land and their impact... So be kind in word and deed.

I think I saw him this time.

There are many excuses for how is it possible for the water in a shower to be so cold in such  a hot country.  I believed most of them because what can you do anyhow.   However, I have never understood how after a night's rain the water is frigid, even after the sun has been up for a while.   I know think I have discovered the reason.     There is my personal cross between a Leprechaun and a Jumbie that when it rains they have a switch that puts refrigerated water into the water pipes for my shower.    I am sure I saw him this time: it was dressed like a Leprechaun but he was black and had Rasta hair...   Another little known fact about Guyana!

 No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I was quite proud of the people who support me as this year I was able to bring some extra tablets -- last year I was a little short, so I thought I would see who still needed one from last year.   Well, it wasn't long before I discovered that there was more need than I had tablets and this was just among the second and third year students.  I didn't listen to the ones who will be taking their finals this month.   So I did the "fair" thing [being an ethicist, eh?]:  we did it by lottery; names went in the hat.  And unbiased students drew the five names.   All done .....

Many of you will remember that I used to be a soccer coach and I loved every minute of it [well, maybe not Rochester] except when I had to cut kids in order to get down to the size for a travel team. It wasn't that I did't trust my judgement, and to be truthful some of the kids we chose couldn't play either.   It was the night before, when I would dream and see their tearful faces staring at me and telling me that I had ruined their chances of ever playing for a World Cup team .....

It was like that as I looked at the students who did not get one of the tablets.   I hate that, but I was tough... but not that tough. One of the non-winners wrote a letter about how she had been to the doctor for her back because she had been carrying heavy textbooks back and forth on the minibuses.  [I can't tell you what I said because this is a family blog, though I doubt any kid has ever read it ..... but the Queen -- well, you never know.]   I do have one of the tablets that I use to be able to fix theirs if there is a problem, so I will give it to her at the end .....  yes, less guilt for me, but no less need .....   and I am in one small school in one small country, on one continent among others .....   So I take Jane's advice... Be kind; be kind ..... and be grateful that there are so many who are kind to me and my students here.   Though I am sure there is no danger of me ever being a saint!

I am Going to Stop Here

I have to keep moving as I keep forgetting one of Anne's favorite sayings, "Dates on the calendar are closer than they appear."  And combine that with my "Sure that sounds like a good idea." Together they seem to leave me scrambling at the last minute when I realize It Is The Last Minute.   Last year I was in a magnanimous mood when I returned the Lutheran Church phone that they let me use and I had not really done anything to "merit" it...  So I said, "Why don't I do something with the Youth next year...  Well, it is next year and it is today!  and, as an added bonus, it is next week, too, in Berbice!  And it is on Sex and Relationships... Did I really agree to that topic?   There are some who believe Jesus was a necrophiliac ... because he raised Lazarus from the dead....   So I am thinking there is much I can say that is going to get me in deep trouble.   But what the hell, eh?

Ditto for a class at the university on Monday!  I hope I can remember what the topic is .....

I hope you will have a great and relaxing Sunday.

And thanks for reading.  John

Sorry there are no pics but they take me so long to add.  There are all in the slide show hyperlinked above.