I have decided that I will not return to Mercy Hospital in
September. It would have been the 10th time and the closest
that I would ever have gotten to be a “10” in anything.
As usual Continuity and Change will be in play; the same and
different…
I have the same desire to return to Mercy and Guyana. I
enjoy my time there and feel that I make a difference, at least in the lives of
the students. It was a hard decision to make, but there are far more
complicating factors for me this September.
First, and I never thought that I’d say this, but the odd part
of the “Odd Couple”, Tony, was not able to go this year. I realized
how intertwined we had become over the last two years; we each had our areas of
expertise and it worked. (Now I wish that I had listened to him
drone on about cranial nerves ..... Kidding aside, we worked hard
and shared the tasks; I am not sure that I want to, or could, do
both.
Second, I was participating with Taju Olaleye who is the lead
applicant in our Rising Stars Canada grant; however, they have delayed the
announcement date till the end of July. We were counting on the grant [ah
yes, optimists] to provide the dollars for the individual netbooks for
the students. If I went to Mercy in September, I would have to
begin hitting up my “friends” for a second year in a row… and I have not done
that previously. It is not that they aren’t good friends; it is that
there are so many “good causes” out there asking for their dollars.
I had received a few good quotes from China on netbooks and tablets and then I
started figuring out dates, fundraising, purchasing, shipping, etc…..
Ugh! So I would need to raise about $5,200 for 24
netbooks. That means 24 wonderful friends give me $220 or if I had
5,200 friends it would be just a buck each. This made me
forget that my fourth grade teacher, Sister Mary Something, said “Anything
worth doing is worth doing poorly”, and revert to my need to do it well .....
and at this point, I don’t think that I can do the course well.
Breaking - or rather “Heartbreaking” * news… We were
not successful with the grant application… “I regret” letter below”
Dear Mr. Olaleye
Prince
RE: Application 149
Thank you for submitting your proposal A
Revolutionary Approach for Guyana Nursing Education to Grand Challenges
Canada’s Request for Proposals: Rising Stars in Global Health– Round 1.
A peer review was led by the Canadian Institutes of Health Research. Many
high-quality submissions were received and the selection process was very
competitive. I regret to inform you that your proposal has not been
selected for funding.
We would like to thank you for your time and
effort in preparing your proposal, and hope that you will consider
participating in future Grand Challenges Canada funding opportunities.
* So next
year will be also “wallet breaking”, as I will beg for contributions/donations
for the students’ netbooks…
Third, as many of you know, we are moving back to Ontario; we
have bought a nice little home in Ayr, near Kitchener and take possession on
August 3rd. Now by itself, that would be great; however,
we have not sold our home in Nova Scotia. The housing market here
is dreadful, especially thanks to the selfishness of our provincial government
who cancelled the US ferry and really abandoned the whole of SW Nova Scotia as
there are few votes for them here. Anyhow, this unknown has
many stressors, including the fact that we have had to get back into the
mortgage business. It doesn’t seem that it will
get anywhere near resolved before September.
Fourth, if you read my blog, you know that there are the usual
continuing frustrations with doing any business in Guyana. Now don’t get
me wrong -- Mercy, and especially CEO Helen, go out of their way to make my
stay the best, but it is always uphill. One of the IT people who
was looking after our students netbook problems no longer works at Mercy and
some of the older Café Computers no longer work… and the IT department
does not have the resources to fix them. A smallish problem… just
an addition to the stressors… and this year I seem to be running out of energy.
Fifth, while it may seem that I just pack my clothes and jump on
a plane, there is much for me to do in the months before I get on that
plane. For example, Tony and I have been revising and improving all
our PBL Problems and are only on the 2nd of 6
problems. There is quite a lot to do ahead of time, and
my time now is being consumed with my immediate living arrangements.
Maybe if I were better organized? But that isn’t going to happen.
These and some additional personal considerations have added up
..… I am not liking myself and the fact that I can’t do
“everything”… I have had the luxury for nine years of going to Mercy
without worrying too much about my life or family in Canada; this year it is
different… and I need to make a different decision. It is a
painful one. I will plan to return to Guyana in September 2013 (and
be a TEN!) if my fantasy of getting my life in order holds up.
Please stay tuned.